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 Talking to Myself...

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Mr.Archive

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Join date : 2011-06-15

PostSubject: Talking to Myself...   Wed Jun 15, 2011 11:09 am

Original Author: Meg

MR ARCHIVE NOTE: I will restore full RPs if you want me to, but it is incredibly time consuming so I'll do it only if you want xDD

ooc: ok, a little premise.
First thing first, those are Meg's thoughts druing the Rp with the villain [the rp, if you're interested, is "A new beginning", and this FF is collocated on the page 12.]
So, i think that this explains a lot of things
Second thing: this is the first FF that i do all by myself.
So, ehm... if there are mistakes... please forgive me
if you'll tell me, i'll correct them XD
now... well, hope you can enjoy it.



What are you doing?
What are you doing?
You slut.
You whore.
You bitch.
He kidnapped you.
He menaced you.
He hurted you.
With his fist.
With his legs.
WIth his knife.
So what are you doing?
Have you already forgotten...

Oh, shut up, you!
I can't stand it anymore.
I really can't.
Your incessant bla-bla-bla.
It's simple judge!
Point the finger and call me slut.
You weren't there when i was suffering.
Not this time.
Not in the past.
What do you want to me now?

Oh, i didn't start anything this time.
Were you that came to see me.
You that wanted approach the mirror.
To look at yourself.
To listen your inner voice.
To stop to pretend that everything is ok.
For 5 minutes.
Your words.
Don't try to deny it.


And now i see my mistake.
I hadn't to come to you.

What did you wanted?
My compassion?
Forget it.
You don't deserve it.

I thought that at least my inner self could be more kind...

You were so wrong!

I see

Bitch! You had sex with him!

What could i do?

Oh, shut up!
You invited him!

It's just my job

You're not working now!

Shut up!
SHUT UP!
It's the only think that i can do.
You think that i'm not working?
I'm fighting for my life!
I prefer have sex with him, than be beated again.

Slut.
You enjoyed it.

Yes.
So what?

...

Wanna know what?
In my life i've learnt something.
You can't decide what to do.
Or who you have to be.
Life will fuck you always and anyways.
You can suffer.
Face the problem.
See how much your life sucks.
And die.
Or do what i do.
Pretend that's ok.
Collect shots.
And live.
And wanna know something?
I'll have time to be dead soon.
For now, i prefer live.

What do you want?
My approval?
Forget it.
You'll never have.
Change the card on the table.
Act like you're right.
Do it.
We both know that you're lying.

Why can't you simply leave me free?
What's the problem with you?

With me, Meg?
The problem with me?
You're crazy, girl!
But ok.
Let play your game.
I'll explain you where's the problem.
Like you didn't know it.

No.
Shut up...

No, no, listen!
First thing first.
He's the person that kidnapped you.

I can survive this.

And you started to play with him since you were in your fucked room.

What did you expect?
Flirting it's my only weapon!

Shush, Meg.
Even if i could understand it,
this won't justify the rest.
He killed a child.

...

You found her body

...

She was still in the room, when you came back

...

And you listened her scream, in the video.
Wanna pretend that it didn't happen?
You can't.
It happened.

I couldn't do anything!

You could don't sleep with her killer!

It couldn't help the girl!

It could help your soul!

I don't have one!

Oh, sure Meg!
As you don't have a conscience.
Continue with it.
Pretend that it's true.
Neither your lies can remove the sensation of be filthy inside.
And i've not ended.

Stop now!
I don't wanna listen

Shush, Meg!
You have to listen.
Face the horrible person that you are.
He almost killed you

no please...

he beated you

no...

he penetrated your skin with his knife...

please...

don't you remember the pain?

please...

don't you remember the kicks?

stop...

the fists?

stop it...

or the knife in your arm?

please!

This wound still hurts you!

please stop!

I can't stop!
I just can't!
Because it's simply the truth.
And look elsewhere this time won't work.
Your mask won't help you.

Like it's the first time that someone beat me!

Like it's the first time that we talk about it!

Like i'm not used to this!

Like have sex with him it's a normal thing!

Like it's different by my other customers!

He is!
He's crazy.
He's a killer.
He thinks to love you.
Or he's playing with you.
In both cases, he's dangerous.

And do you really think that go against him is the better think to do?

It's the most human thing to do, Meg!

Well, so, i'm not human

You pretend to don't be human, Meg!
But you are!
You're still human.
It's because of this that you feel so filthy now.
It's because of this that even your body can't stand to all this.

It's because of the wounds...
the pain...
the drugs...

Only an half truth, Meg!
You know that make you throw up is the only way that i know to express my real feeling.
To express my sickness.

So, can you stop please?
You're annoying me.

Don't make me laugh, Meg.

It wasn't my intention.

And now what, Meg?
5 minutes are passed.
And you're still here, talking with me.
I think that you have to go.
Wasn't it your intention?

...

Wasn't it, Meg?

It was.

Now, what's the problem, Meg?

...

Can't you put on you mask again, as always?
Can't you pretend that's everything ok?
What, Meg?
You've finally realized how much your life sucks?
You've finally understood it?
Too many problems Meg, right?
And now your mask simply slips away.

I wanna have Antoine here.

Shush, bitch.
He never cared about you

I wanna him however.

You were only his dog.

Be his dog was better then nothing.

How could you really think it?

Because it's the truth!
Because he was anyways the most important person in my fucked life.
Because, sad as it can be, be his dog was the best thing in my life.
Because he was the only sincere person that i've ever met.

Cruelly sincere.
He never lied about his feelings for you.
About how little you were in his life.

But he was the only one that never judged me.
That listened to me when i needed to talk.
Even if he didn't care.
I could talk.
I could be myself.
I could be desperate.
And ugly.
I could show my real self.
I wasn't important for him.
But he was important for me.
Because now i'm absolutely alone.
I don't have the strenght to pretend again now.
And i can't be myself.

Meg...
Tomorrow will be better....
Tomorrow you'll have the strenght to pretend again...

Are you comforting me?
Why?

Because you're crying, Meg...
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Phoebus

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Location : under your bed >:3

PostSubject: Re: Talking to Myself...   Wed Jun 15, 2011 10:27 pm

I LIKE this! XD
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